Friends? I am starting to stop believing in them. Why? Because I am always in the middle, the place where nobody gets anything, from this point of view.
The way I see it, there are only 2 kinds of people to choose from.
There are the „politically correct ones”. The ones your parents told you to play with when you were 10. Those who were an example in childhood, and didn’t stop being one now, whatever the domain. Well paid jobs, women and men who always look fabulous and have a tasteful fashion and make-up sense. International experiences, tagged in the fanciest parties in the city. Always kind, caring, and willing to avoid hurting their friends and the people around them. You know they will make you look better in public, mostly anywhere you go. You know you should be friends with them, because they are positive and beneficial.
And there are the screwed up ones. The ones that maybe had some childhood issues which are somehow still in them. Or maybe not, but you know something is clearly missing about those people. The ones that make the best jokes, because most of them are dirty or sick. And who the fuck laughs at faint jokes anymore? Maybe socially awkward, maybe some communication problems, maybe they don’t care that much to avoid insulting people around them, maybe a bit of all. They isolate themselves from the mainstream by different music, clothes, food choices, books etc. As a result of all these combinations of choices, each person tends to be unique, and comparison between two people from this category gets hard. But the best thing to say is…they stand out from the crowd somehow. You usually use the expression of „being stuck” with them, more than making a choice about it.
So what is the problem?
Well, first ones are SO DAMN BORING. I will kill myself if I listen to another conversation about hair products (or „funny” stories from the office), that lasts for more than 10 minutes. They seem like they have nothing interesting to say. Girls seem to be all about bffs, cupcakes, make-up and fashion, and maybe celebrities gossip. Overpriced coffee, anniversaries, shoes etc. I can encapsulate a year of their life in about 50 words.
And second ones…well the problem is pretty obvious. Those lacks may affect you directly. You risk being hurt, sometimes ignored, or even laughed at. And their weirdnesses might surprise you someday. Or even scare you. The problem is you may never know these people completely. They could be surprising, and not always in a way you’d like.
Problem is I see myself in the middle. I’m both a politically correct person, and a weird one. Can’t put myself in just one of these 2. I need people like me to be friends with. But I don’t see them anywhere.
Also, I don’t want boring people around me…and the weird ones are sometimes uncomfortable.
The people around me are around me either by my choice, or by circumstances that don’t depend on me. The ones I’m stuck with are boring enough for all of them.
So there are these two types. The model people, and the authentic people. Choosing between them is choosing between lying to yourself (and others) or being real and crying/suffering from time to time.
So I belong to both, but can’t agree with any one of them.